You know how when you meet a baby you think “huh. Looks like a baby to me,” but then you look back and see THAT’S MY KID!? This picture is so Kieran. I didn’t know it at this moment – mere moments after I met him – but that was Kieran. God, I love this kid.
When I was pregnant with Simon my sister and I did that test where you use a pencil, thread and your wedding ring over your belly to predict your future fecundity. It told me I’d have four kids – a boy, a boy, a girl and a boy. So I knew Simon was a boy (and he was) and I knew Quinn was a boy (and he was) and I knew Kieran was a girl. I just knew it. I rehearsed in my mind the days leading up to my ultrasound the moment the tech would say “it’s a girl!” and the angels would sing and my life would be complete because I’d have the daughter I always dreamed of. When we learned he was a boy I’ll admit that I few tears squeezed out before I pulled myself together. Then I went to Kohls the next day with Simon and Quinn and the nice lady there said “my, you have your hands full! Are you getting your girl?” and when I told her it was another boy she said “oh….I’m sorry,” and I abandonded my shopping and ran back to my car and sobbed my heart out. I had a rough few months. I felt pretty sorry for myself.
Then Kieran was born. The second I met him I knew: it was Kieran. It was Kieran all along. I was so amazingly silly to think I wanted a daughter. Kieran was the only baby I was meant to have that day. He was the one. No need to fret at all. I had my Kieran and he was meant to be. He was born in our livingroom with brothers and grandparents and an aunt right there, waiting to welcome him. There was no transition at all – he was here and we were all a family and Kieran was the missing link we never knew was missing.
I wish I could explain just how Kieran this all was. It’s the most Kieran thing on earth for him to be totally deadpan, tricking us and watching us fall for it and then to appear, full of life, laughing at us: Kieran.
I also wish I could explain what an amazing kid he’s become. The way he insisted on calling my aunt to wish her a happy birthday because he felt bonded to her in ways I never fathomed. Or the way he insists on visiting his great grandpa because he loves and misses him. Or how focused he is on his art, whatever that might be today. Kieran is so perceptive and earnest, hilarious and passionate…and so unabashedly Kieran. We got really lucky when we got our Kie. I’m so glad it was him I met that day!
Happy birthday, Kieran!
Excuse me for a moment while I indulge in a moment of melancholic reverie.
About ten minutes ago (I swear), when I was deep under a pile of babies and babies and babies and then another baby I read something that said “the days are long but the years are short.” I remember thinking at the time that OMG THE DAYS ARE LONG but they sure were flying by so I guessed I could see what they meant.
Oh, I had no clue. And I think I still have just a scintilla of a clue. For example: I registered my baby for kindergarten. For another example: I visited my cousin last week and her oldest, who I still think of as a baby, is inexplicably this gorgeous young woman and it occurred to me that she is not that far from leaving home. She was just a baby and that’s it, she’s closer to being grown up than a baby. It felt like we’d have babies forever and before I can grasp what’s happening, they’re going.
I guess this time of year gets to me. We have a birthday this week and another birthday next week and spring and the end of the school year looming, reminding me again and again that time is moving forward and my kids are growing up. TEN MINUTES AGO I was so deep under babies I didn’t even remember who I was and suddenly I’m registering my *baby* for kindergarten.
I have this constant struggle with my youngest. He wants to be carried and cuddled all the time. On one hand he’s my BABY and I want to hold him close and cherish every last ounce of his sweet babyness, forever and yet he’s almost FIVE. Dear god! When his oldest brothers were five they each had TWO baby brothers already and I thought of them as practically grown up!
So I’m spending this spring trying to straddle a fine line between holding so hard onto my babies because the time is flying by so damn fast…and letting them go because none of them are babies anymore.
If only the years were less short.
Oh, self, what are we going to do when we no longer have a little one to remind us how exciting the “Dinosaur Museum” is, even though we’ve been there a billion times already!? What will I do when I no longer have a little one to remind me to always see the world through new eyes? My old, tired, cynical eyes miss all the magic!
Maybe I’ll just have to steal YOUR little ones, to remind me! (seriously, book now! Spring is coming and what a beautiful time of year to make forever memories with your family!?)
Meanwhile I’ll enjoy my last little one seeing if he can jump to reach the dinosaur.
I laugh every time I see this one. He was trying to mess up my picture. You can see it in his devious little face. Little did he know he was the picture.
Once upon a time this one was my little one but already he’s seen it all, done it all and is bored. Sigh. How fast that happens.
Family time with Grandma and Grandpa:
Stairs are thrilling and he can see my eye through the camera. Life is magic!
Peter Pan has found his shadow:
Yep, life is magic. I’m grateful for my littles to remind me to find that magic.
Every year for my dad’s (December) birthday I give him a set of holiday cards with all of the grandkids on them. This then converts into an easy holiday gift for my parents, who are notoriously difficult to buy for.
This year the grandkids ranged in age between 18 months and 11 years old. With an 18 month old and a two year old to corral I really needed my older kids to help and cooperate. So, of course, my eleven year old lost it and tried to refuse to participate in the photos. The toddlers were easier than my adolescent!
We managed to pull it all together and I am delighted with the results! My parents ended up with a lovely card and a picture of all the grandkids in one place. Awesome!